She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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