Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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