You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
