No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
