I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
