If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
