Just cropdusted the office
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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