What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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