Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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