Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hippo gnu deer
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
