Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
