All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
