So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you traded sex for a burrito?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
