:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
