i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
