Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
