just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
