the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
