Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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