fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
