sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dicks are not precious.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
