I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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