Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
