how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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