I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
