before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
