Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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