he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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