put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
