I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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