My nipple is on Facebook.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
