Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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