Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
