apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
