Even water is tasting like jack daniels
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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