Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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