He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
