i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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