Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
