i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
