3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
