I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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