If i come over, it means nothing
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
