You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
