I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
