The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
