i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
