Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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