found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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