I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
