Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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